Infamous
by AgentNoSmile
Summary: The team investigate a Dahmer copycat in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and a cover-action turns into something more for Hotch and Spencer. SLASH WARNING if you don't read slash, turn back now.
1. Copycat

SSA Aaron Hotchner; you could get an idea of who he was through the way other people thought of him. He was the Unit Chief of the Quantico BAU Office in Virginia, and he ran a tight ship. If you were to ask one of his employees to describe him you would get opinions such as "hardass", "badass", "drill sergeant" and "stoic". These qualities had earned him the charming nickname of "Agent No-Smile" since it was a rarity to see him smile. Who would be able to smile often when they had to see serial killers and their unfortunate victims every day? Hotchner managed a team of five; SSA Emily Prentiss, a pretty brunette with a good sense of humour, DR SSA Spencer Reid, a genius with an eidetic memory, an I.Q of 187, the ability to read 20,000 words a minute, and three PhD's, all at the age of 27, SSA Derek Morgan, a black, former Chicago PD cop who often let his emotions get into his work, SSA David Rossi, a previously retired Agent who came back initially to solve a twenty-year-old case and SSA Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, a pretty blonde woman who was a communications liaison for the Bureau. He was also the boss of Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia, a bubbly, blonde, albeit slightly odd, former hacker. Collectively they were a cast-iron team. Hotch had a fondness for every member of his team, but often he had to be cruel to be kind.

Hotch walked out of his office on the first floor and down into the lobby. "Guys, briefing. Now." Both Reid and Prentiss looked at each other and sighed. "Has he even smiled at all this month?" Spencer frowned slightly. Emily laughed; "You must be kidding Spencer, what, did all that hair screw your brain up?" Hotch walked back into the lobby after realizing his subordinates were not following; "Reid! Prentiss! Morgan! Rossi! NOW!" His scowl had deepened; a regular feature at the BAU, it had become routine; like sunrise. "Jinkies!" Garcia mumbled. "Later guys, wouldn't wanna be ya," she smirked a little and headed off to her warren of computers. "Later baby girl," Morgan smiled and shook his head; it was a mutual banter they had developed over the years. Spencer awkwardly jumped up and put his hair behind his ears, as he always did when he was nervous, Emily followed behind him, Morgan and Rossi at the back muttering and chuckling about how Hotch needed to get laid.

They walked into the board room and sat around the table. JJ put the file down on the table, and Hotch picked up the digital board remote. "There's a new serial killer in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. We have three victims so far, all of them went missing within a month and they were all men. More specifically, gay men. We believe our UnSub has been going into gay bars in Milwaukee and picking up men. It's been discovered he had sex with some of them before they died, and also after. Sound familiar?" Hotch looked across his Agents' faces and Spencer's eyes narrowed and he nodded.

"Jeffrey Dahmer killed seventeen gay men between 1978 and 1991. His first victim, Stephen Hicks was a hitchhiker he picked up and took back to his mother's house to drink beer, when Hicks tried to leave, Dahmer bludgeoned him with a barbell. After that he began picking up men at gay bars, at first his killing was sporadic but by 1990 he had killed four men by the end of the year. By the summer of 1991 he was killing almost one a week. He had sex with some of them before and after they died. Dahmer was a sexual sadist and he engaged in necrophilia and cannibalism, even keeping seven of his victim's skulls, he was only apprehended because his final victim; Tracy Edwards managed to escape his apartment. The police never cross-referenced Dahmer's record when he took a young fourteen year old boy back who had been drugged and wandering the streets naked and bleeding from the rectum. If they had they would have known he was a known child molester and maybe he would have been caught sooner.

If this guy is a Dahmer copycat, we need to catch up with him fast. Dahmer was thought to have had Antisocial Personality Disorder but the jury eventually came back finding him sane and guilty for his crimes, even with the evidence that Dahmer believed he could turn his victims into zombies; sexual slaves by drilling holes into their heads and injecting Hydrochloric Acid or boiling water into their brains. Our UnSub may have a personality disorder, or he may just be a macabre fan of Dahmer; it happens. People like this UnSub become obsessed with Serial Killers and they long to be like them, to obtain their notoriety and live on in the minds of the public forever." Hotch nodded and replied;

"If the UnSub is copying Dahmer, he's going to escalate, and fast. From the crime scene photos we can see there is no drill marks to any part of the victim's head, but he will get bolder with every kill."

JJ piped up from the doorway;

"The jet's ready for you guys, the Milwaukee County Sheriff will be waiting when you arrive."

"Thanks JJ," Hotch nodded and walked out of the room, the rest of the team following suit. They grabbed their go-bags and climbed onto the jet, each sitting in their usual spot. Emily flipped through the case file, trying to absorb as much of the information as she could, she spoke her thoughts;

"Dahmer killed his first victim in 1978, but it was a further nine years until his next kill. Why did our UnSub jump straight to three in one month?"

"Excitement. He couldn't wait to start living his new life as his idol's predecessor," Morgan theorized.

"Yeah, he probably couldn't control the feelings inside him, he wanted to feel that first rush and from then on it became just as hard to resist as Dilaudid for example," Spencer added, then looked down, playing with an invisible piece of thread. He had been clean of Dilaudid for almost a year now, but it still shamed him every day. Hotch gently touched Spencer's shoulder, without saying a word, he squeezed it lightly and put it back to the table.

"Okay, when we land in Milwaukee, Prentiss, Morgan meet with the lead detective on this case, Reid and I will meet with the Sheriff, Dave and J.J, work victimology, see if we can determine our Unsub's type, who he's likely to go for next so we can work a profile for a press conference."

The Agents nodded and went back to their respective rituals, which they always seemed to observe on the plane; Spencer pulled out a book, Emily and J.J started chatting, Hotch and Rossi continued to look over the case file and Morgan pulled out his cell phone. They landed in Milwaukee forty-five minutes later, and each took to their respective jobs. Spencer followed Hotch into the County Sheriff's office, Morgan and Emily went straight to the police station to seek out Detective Murphy; the lead on the case, and J.J and Rossi followed them to work in their board room on the victimology.


	2. Cover-Up

Detective Murphy put down his coffee cup as he saw the two Agents approach him, he eyed them suspiciously.

"Detective Murphy? I'm SSA Emily Prentiss, this is SSA Derek Morgan, we're here to help with the Dahmer copycat case," she held out her hand to shake the Detective's. He shook it and nodded to Morgan in acknowledgment;

"You're the FBI Profilers, right?" he replied.

"That's right sir, what can you tell us? Any leads so far? Any suspects?" Emily folded her arms and tipped her head a little to the left, automatically profiling the Detective; something she always found herself doing.

"Not much at all. We need your profile to narrow the search down a little. Our prime suspect was the latest victim; David Benton; twenty-seven years old. He was a sexual predator; he escalated and raped a sixteen year old boy before slashing his throat. We were trying to locate and arrest him when he was murdered." Murphy sipped his coffee again. Morgan stepped forward;

"Do you think the UnSub knew Benton, or was it just a coincidence?" he said, his brow furrowed a little.

"We believe it was planned, that the suspect saw Benton's arrest appeal on the news, and started to hunt him. By chance he finally found him at Glitter; the gay bar where Benton was abducted." Murphy responded after consulting his notebook. Morgan nodded and looked at Emily;

"This guy is becoming more and more unravelled, he's gonna kill again real soon, do you have all units on standby?" Morgan continued.

"Yep, we have roadblocks around the whole of the city, stopped all flights from Milwaukee Mitchell General and have patrolmen on every corner for a five block radius of all gay clubs and frequents in the area. We've done what we can, but until you guys give us a profile we have very little to go one. How are you gonna do that by standing here?" Murphy replied, his tone a little begrudging.

"We have two agents in the board room of this building working on the profile, another two are talking to the CountySheriff right now. We need to get all your case files on this guy's crimes; anything you can tell us will help us. We need to understand his behaviour and his motives before we have any chance of catching the guy," Morgan replied, his tone equally as icy as the Detective's.

Hotchner walked up to the CountySheriff's office building, Spencer flanking his side. He looked at the patrolman on the door and flashed him his credentials. The patrolman looked at Spencer who fumbled in his jacket before showing his own; the patrolman nodded them both into the building. Hotch surveyed the area and saw an older man, who he deduced to be the Sheriff, from his authoritative stature.

"Sheriff Addison? SSA Aaron Hotchner, this is Dr. Spencer Reid, we spoke on the phone?" The Sheriff nodded.

"You guys made good time getting here," he turned to face Hotch and smiled a little.

"We got a phone call no more than thirty minutes ago for a local gay bar owner, saying he saw a guy acting strangely in his bar."

"Strange how?" Hotch replied, his right hand pressed onto the wall nearby.

"He was looking around nervously, approaching different guys and when they turned him down, he went back to the corner, and he looked incensed. Do you think he could be the guy?" Addison asked, looking the Agent in the eye.

"Possibly," Hotch replied;"But let's not get ahead of ourselves here. He could just be a single guy, who's socially awkward and striking out. Agents Jareau and Rossi are working on a profile as we speak," Hotch stopped a second as his cell was ringing;

"Yeah Dave?"

"I just got a call from Morgan, they didn't get anything much, but the latest victim; David Benton, was thought to be a suspect. He raped and killed a sixteen year old boy, but the UnSub got to him before the police did. I think he was wiping out the competition. Garcia called Morgan also and she did a cross-reference on the victims. All three were gay men who all had priors ranging from indecent exposure to lewd behaviour, all except the last victim who had escalated further. I think our UnSub is not only killing gay men, he's killing gay men like himself. He doesn't want to share the fame."

"That doesn't match Dahmer. None of the men he killed were sex offenders. Maybe this is a part of the copycat's own M.O. He's copying Dahmer in his methods, but adding his own unique flair to his crimes."

"Exactly," David replied,  
"I think we're ready for a press conference. Morgan and Prentiss are on their way back, shall we meet you guys back at the station?"

"Yes, Reid and I will meet you there, anything new keep me posted,"

"You're the boss," Dave replied and clicked off.

"Sheriff, my team is ready to give a profile to the press, someone out there may recognise our UnSub from it and we have a shot at catching this guy. Bring your subordinates with you, we need as many patrolmen and undercover cops as possible to know about this," Hotch concluded, already halfway out of the door before even waiting for an answer.

"You got it, Agent," Addison replied and walked into the back room to round up the remaining personnel in the building.

J.J was rustling some papers on the table and preparing to speak to the media when Morgan, Prentiss, Dave, Hotch and Reid all walked into the room. Dave was ahead of the other Agents as he had picked up a fax of the information that Morgan had received from Garcia.

"Are we ready J.J?" Hotch asked the blonde Agent, who was used to doing these press conferences.

"When you are Hotch," she smiled and stood at the front of the room. It was slowly filling with undercover cops, patrolmen and other Bureau personnel; also reporters for the local news channels. J.J cleared her throat and began;

"We're looking for a white male, approximately twenty-five to thirty-five years old; he's most likely a quiet, average man in his every day life. He does a job where he isn't noticed, and he struggles with making and keeping friends, and maintaining relationships. We think of him to be average height and weight, living within thirty miles of all the crime scenes," she pointed to a map with a geo-localization profile on it.

"We think he does the kind of job that allows him to leave sporadically; more specifically self-employed, so he can kill without anyone noticing he's missing. We suspect him to be single, and it is a possibility that he may be suffering from a Borderline or Antisocial Personality Disorder. Another possibility is that he's a mature student, taking classes in Criminology or Forensic Psychology, somewhere he can indulge in his obsession with serial killers without being seen as out of the ordinary. He probably does a lot of home research on serial killers also. We are almost certain this man is a homosexual man, who regularly visits gay bars in search of his victims; from the coroner's findings we can establish the sexual relations with his victims are consensual, and that he kills them after this. There is also evidence of post-mortem sexual contact.

We urge the public to call the anonymous tip line on the bottom of their screen if they think they've seen, or possibly know a man who fits this description. Thank you," J.J stepped down from the podium and looked at Hotch.

"Just wait a few seconds and-" her sentence was interrupted by the phone ringing. She shook her head.

"Why am I not surprised? Every gay man in the area probably thinks he's seen or knows the UnSub now," she sighed and picked it up.

"Agent Jareau speaking,"

The Agents and police officers began to field calls from all sorts of people claiming to have seen or to know the UnSub, just as J.J had expected. Spencer's eyes widened a little at the call he was currently taking;

"Hotch, you need to hear this," he beckoned him over.

"What is it Reid?" he frowned.

"The man I just spoke to is currently in a gay bar called Sins, he says he saw the report on the news and thinks the UnSub is the guy who approached him a few minutes ago. He said he was about thirty, everything about the report matched this guy, he said the man was saying some odd things to him,"

"Odd things like what?" Hotch replied, alarm bells in his head at this point.

"Things like he wanted to take him home and have a good time, I, well I mean that's not the odd part obviously," he licked his lips, as he did often mid ramble;

"He mentioned he was looking for a slave, someone to control, a fantasy of his to tie someone up and have sex with them,"

"Are you sure it's not just a fetishist, and the guy wasn't just creeped out by what the guy wanted?" Morgan chimed in.

"I thought that but then, much to my need to NOT know, he told me he likes that, but this guy was all around odd," Spencer replied, standing up and brushing his hair behind his ears.

"Let's go," Hotch said, with an ushering motion of his hand as he started to walk out of the building. The team followed and one by one jumped into their respective SUVs. Detective Murphy had caught a ride with Hotch and Reid and directed them to the club.

"When we get there, we need to park around back, I don't want to see a single Agent, patrolman or Detective nearby," Hotch ordered.

"What, are you crazy? This guy could be a serial killer! No way!" the Detective retorted.

"If he knows the FBI and the police are there, he could enter a psychotic break and kill a lot of innocent people. We need to do this properly." Hotch replied, hotly.

"He's right, if we scare the UnSub, he could easily turn on us or anyone nearby," Spencer added from the back of the car. The Detective paused for a moment, and nodded, not happy with the situation at all.

"Make sure to tell J.J and Prentiss, Reid," Hotch turned and addressed Spencer directly.

"Already calling Morgan," Spencer smiled awkwardly. One by one the SUVs pulled up near the club, they stopped a little over half a mile away and the Agents alighted.

"Alright, Reid and I will go into the club, Dave, Morgan, Prentiss, I want you outside the doors but remain unseen from inside the club; we have this under control but I need you to trust me," Hotch looked to each of his Agents, awaiting approval.

"We do?" Spencer looked at him confused. Hotch looked at him;

"We do. Are we clear?" he replied. One by one the Agents nodded.

"J.J I want you to stay here by the car with Detective Murphy; keep your radio on so I can communicate if I need to," he looked at her and she nodded.

"Alright, let's go," Hotch finalized and walked with Reid to the front doors. Morgan, Prentiss and Rossi positioned themselves discreetly around the door. Hotch addressed the bouncer on the door and stated that they were from the FBI and they needed to discreetly assess a potential suspect in the club. After showing their credentials the bouncer let them into the club with no problems, he positioned himself away from the door, after instructions from Morgan.

Reid and Hotch walked into the club, techno music was blasting too loud for Hotch's taste, and the place was; as expected, completely packed. The anonymous caller had identified himself to Reid simply as Danny, and told him to ask the bartender where he was when they arrived. They walked up to the long, chrome bar and Hotch practically had to shout to be heard over the music;

"We're looking for Danny. He said you'd know where he was?" Hotch asked.

"Who are you?" the bartender replied, just as loudly.

"It's Spencer and Aaron," Reid added. The bartender seemed convinced they were the men Danny had asked for and he pointed to the corner.

"He's over there, the tall, blonde guy with the red shirt on," the bartender concluded.

"Thank you," Hotch hollered, before they made their way over to where he had pointed.

"Danny? I'm Spencer; we spoke on the phone before. We're gonna need you to point out the man who approached you," Reid spoke into the man's ear.

"Okay. Look over towards the bathrooms, right over there, grey shirt, dark jeans, kinda good looking? That's him," he indicated without drawing too much attention to where he was guiding the Agents.

"Thank you," Spencer replied and smiled a little. Spencer and Hotch started to walk towards the guy Danny had pointed out to them. As they walked over, the man turned and looked at them. His eyes began to narrow, as though he knew something was wrong. He was staring at Spencer unnervingly. Hotch walked behind Spencer and put his lips to his ear;

"Reid, just go with me on this," he said as quietly as he could. He placed a hand on each of Spencer's hips, causing the younger Agent's eyes to widen a little.

"We need to look like we belong here. If this is our UnSub and he figures out we're FBI, it's all over. Don't speak, don't look shocked, act as though it comes naturally to you, do you understand?" Hotch continued, as he lightly kissed Spencer's ear, he ran a hand up to his shoulder and gently turned him to face him. He pulled him close to his body, his piercing brown eyes holding Spencer's gaze unwaveringly. Spencer nodded slowly and reached his own hands up to tentatively, and loosely grip Hotch's suit jacket. Hotch leaned in and kissed Spencer's neck, lightly grazing it with his teeth, his hands running down his back. Spencer surprised himself when he let out a small moan; it was confusing to him, but he knew Hotch was right, so he allowed him to pull his body closer so there was no space left between them. Hotch captured Spencer's lips hotly and kissed him a little more roughly than he imagined he was going to. Spencer gulped at Hotch's hands running through his hair, and the prospect of another man's anatomy pressed against him. They pulled apart after a minute or two, and noticed the UnSub had slowly been making his way over to them; he was now within speaking distance.

"Hi there, my name's Ben," he smiled in a lecherous manner at Spencer, almost denying Hotch's existence.

"I-I'm Spencer," Reid responded, nervously.

"Spencer? What a great name, and who's your friend?" he finally seemed to notice Hotch.

"I'm Aaron, Spencer's boyfriend," Hotch replied and protectively took Reid's hand in his own, knowing if it came down to it, he would protect Reid at any cost.

"Oh? He's a little...young for you isn't he?" Ben smirked, licking his lips slightly.

"Well, you know, I like younger men," Hotch shrugged.

"And what do you both do for a living?" Hotch squeezed Spencer's hand and prayed he'd get the message.

"I'm a Statistical Analyst for a bank," he replied automatically, Hotch silently sighed in relief.

"I'm a lawyer," Hotch replied, which was not even really a lie, seeing as he had been a Prosecutor before joining the BAU.

"Very nice," Ben leered. "So...uh Aaron was it?" he added.

"Yes, that's right," Hotch narrowed his eyes ever so slightly.

"Are you and Spencer, in an open relationship?" he looked hopeful.

"Yes. As a matter of fact we both enjoy watching each other, with other men," Hotch added, he felt Spencer's hand twitch. He squeezed it back as if to tell him it was okay, he knew what he was doing.  
"Really? How would you feel about, watching me with Spencer?" he asked in a way Hotch had to fight not to hit him for.

"Do you live nearby? Maybe we could go to your place, it's a little crowded in here," Hotch added, trying to get as much as he could.

"Two blocks from here. If we have a deal, let's go," he smiled and put an arm around both of them, separating them, Spencer swallowed thickly. They started to make their way to the entrance, winding through the many men dancing in the club. They reached the entrance and unbeknownst to either Agent, Ben slipped his hand into his waistband and pulled out a weapon. In no more than three seconds he had pushed Hotch against the door frame, temporarily stunning him and had his arm clasped around Reid's neck, the gun pointed at his head.

"How stupid do you think I am?" he growled. Morgan, Rossi and Prentiss had their weapons pointed at Ben, each one a perfect shot.

"FBI, drop the weapon," Morgan hollered, his concentration unparalleled.

"Did you think I wouldn't notice you were FBI? I can tell you guys a mile off. You're not so smart." he hissed and dragged Reid in front of him to try and obscure the Agents' firing line.

"Nobody thinks you're stupid Ben. Why did you kill those men?" Hotch asked, his composure restored.

"I haven't finished yet,"

"Yes you have," Hotch replied, his hands held slightly up, proving he was not armed. Reid's eyes met Hotch's, they were filled with pure terror, Hotch closed his eyes and swallowed.

"What did you think Ben, that you could pick up where Dahmer left off, become more famous?" Hotch sneered.

"I wanted to make sure people in this city never forgot him. He was a legend, he was stopped before his masterpiece was done," Ben growled, his grip around Spencer's neck tightening, he choked a little.

"No one will forget Jeffrey Dahmer, but everyone's sure as hell going to forget you. You're a pathetic, impotent, little boy, who tried to play with the big boys, but they didn't let you, did they Ben? They laughed at you. When you begged them to stay they laughed at how pathetic you were didn't they?" Hotch mocked him, hoping to get an admission of guilt, or at least, a solid admission of the murders.

"Shut up," Ben hissed, "I'm a legend, just like Jeffrey, he'd be proud of my work, even unfinished,"

"We don't want to hurt you, Ben. Just put the gun down and let the Agent go," Emily ordered, her tone not too aggressive.

"No chance. I'm gonna go out in a blaze of glory!" he yelled, as he cracked Reid over the head with the butt of his gun, Prentiss, Rossi and Morgan shot with perfect accuracy, taking Ben to the ground, Hotch jolted Spencer out of the way and pushed him to the floor, shielding him from any more harm. Morgan walked up to the body to check he was in fact dead.

"He's gone," he said shortly, and walked over to Hotch and Spencer, more interested in tending to the living. Emily plucked her cell from her belt, and called for an ambulance to tend to Spencer and Hotch. Spencer murmured incoherently beneath Hotch, who had since climbed off him. He had a concerned look upon his face, his hand firmly on his shoulder;

"Spencer?"

"Mhmmm," Spencer murmured softly, his head fuzzy and sore.

"I'm so sorry Spencer, he blind-sighted me," Hotch spoke much more softy than was normal for him.

"It's not your fault...Hotch," he softly spoke; he shook his head and tried to sit up, wavering a little.

"Hey, take it easy, don't rush," Hotch replied, supporting his head and back, allowing him to lean into his chest until the paramedics arrived. They came over to them and asked what had happened. All three Agents gave pieces of the story, and they began to tend to Spencer's head wound.

"Hotch, we should head back and close this case," Morgan said, looking down at his boss who did not look at him.

"I'm not leaving Reid. I'll see you guys at the jet in the morning, I'm going to the hospital with him." he replied insistently. Morgan narrowed his eyes and frowned, although Hotch was kind, this was uncharacteristic for him;

"Uh, okay. Hey Hotch?"

"What is it Morgan?" he finally took his eyes off Spencer for a second.

"You okay?" he asked, crouching down next to them.

"I'm fine, tie this case up, I'll see you tomorrow," he replied shortly.

"You're the boss. Hey, keep me posted, okay?" he replied.

"Of course," he answered.

He looked down at Spencer and slipped the Agent's hand into his.

"Oh Spencer, I should have protected you,"


	3. Clandestine

The Paramedics loaded Spencer into the ambulance; Hotch climbed in and sat in the chair next to the gurney.

"I don't need all this, Hotch I'm fine; it's just a concussion," Spencer said, swatting the Paramedic away.

"Spencer, let them do their job; they'll let you go back to the hotel once they check you out," Hotch scolded, although his voice was still soft.

"You're going to be fine Dr. Reid; you have a mild concussion, take it easy and don't drive for at least seventy-two hours. There's no need to take you in, but please see your physician in four days time, any new symptoms get someone to bring you straight to the ER, okay?" the paramedic said, pulling off the glove he had used to examine Reid's wound.

"I'll drive you back to the hotel, okay?" Hotch caught Spencer's eye. Spencer nodded and stood up a little shakily.

Hotch?" he said softly. Hotch looked at him;

"What is it?" Hotch frowned. Spencer touched Hotch's hand, stroked it twice with his thumb;

"You did protect me. You're the only one who ever truly has,"

~THREE DAYS LATER~

The team had tied up the Dahmer copycat case and taken the time to wind down. That was what they were doing that night. Garcia had managed to talk the entire team into going out for drinks. Even Hotchner, which was a small miracle in itself. She never did take no for an answer. They walked into the busy night-club; Rossi and Morgan already checking out the women of the bar, Garcia, Emily and J.J headed for the bar, Spencer found a table in the corner, his demeanour awkward, and Hotch wore the same serious look he wore every day to work. Garcia returned to the table with a tray, laden with drinks. Spencer took his Brandy on the rocks and downed it straight away. Hotch frowned;

"Reid, is it your mission to get absolutely wasted?"

"Yessir." he smiled awkwardly and went off to get another drink. Garcia laughed and grabbed Morgan's hand and dragged him, J.J and Emily over to the dance floor, each with a glass of wine or a beer in their hand. Dave was at the bar talking to a blonde woman who was easily twenty years younger than him. Hotch scrutinized them all, just like he did at the office. He sipped his Scotch sparingly and watched as no more than thirty minutes later, a slightly unstable Reid stumbled back to the table.

"I see you went straight for the hard stuff then," he said, looking at him and resisting the urge to shake his head.

"Oh! It's Supervis'ry Special Agent Aaron Hotchner," he slurred,

"Reid, how many have you had?" Hotch sighed and rubbed his temple.

"Aaron-Can I call you Aaron?" he continued.

"Well, it is my name," Hotch replied, trying not to smile.

"I wanna tell you something Aaron, but I'm not sure it would be a good idea," his words were rapidly starting to meld together;

"Why's that?" Hotch replied, folding his arms.

"Well, YOU." he made sure to poke his chest when he said that;

"Are my boss," he nodded drunkenly. Hotch knew it would be taking advantage to ask him anything in this state, but he was intrigued, and so he pressed;

"Tell me, there will be no repercussions, I promise," he waited.

"No repre- reper- I won't get in trouble?" he narrowed his eyes.

"That's right," Hotch nodded.

"Well, okay. Today I realized something that I never realized before. See when we kissed-you remember that? We kissed." he chuckled before he continued;

"Well, I have a secret," he got right up close to Hotch's ear to whisper that part;

"It made me feel funny," he whispered his arms around Hotch's neck. Hotch smiled a little.

"Ohhh you, you can smile!" Spencer gaped and pointed at Hotch;

"You never told us you could do that," he grinned. Hotch chuckled;

"Well I am human. Why did it make you feel funny when we kissed?" he caught his gaze and gently bit the inside of his lip.

"I felt like...I was being lit up, by electricity, and I forgot how to uh, to, how to breathe," he sighed out, the smell of Brandy heavy on his breath. He grasped for one of Hotch's hands and as before, he stroked it with his thumb.

"Isn't it funny?" he slurred;

"You think you know everything about yourself, and then something comes along and changes it," he managed to look Hotch in the eye and blinked a good few times.

"Y-yeah, yeah it is," Hotch swallowed thickly, he pulled his hand away from Spencer's; a grip neither realized had been kept and rested both hands on the small of Spencer's back. He looked around and clocked every other member of his team, and when he was certain all eyes were diverted, he lightly kissed Spencer, licking his bottom lip gently, and loosely grabbing his shirt. He pulled away, and for once smiled sincerely, for the first time since Haley had died. He got up and ran his hand up to Spencer's shoulder and whispered in his ear;

"That funny feeling you have? It's mutual," he picked up his suit jacket and walked out of the bar, a small smirk playing upon his lips. Emily walked over to the table and turned her head to the side to look at Spencer's gawping look.

"Where's Hotch? Everything okay there Mr Lightweight?" she smirked, as she often did when she was teasing him.

"Hmm?" he looked at her; "Oh, uh yeah, he went home," he smiled coyly,

"I think I need to get some sleep, I forgot how little I can handle alcohol," he rubbed his face and yawned. Emily laughed, and patted his shoulder;

"Drunk after half an hour? You're a cheap date Reid. Take a cab home, 'kay?" she smiled and kissed his cheek. Spencer stumbled out into the cool night and leaned against the wall. Today he found out something about himself, and his boss. There was no doubt in his mind at this moment in time; one thing he was absolutely certain of; he was and always had been; irrevocably, profoundly and undeniably in love with Aaron Hotchner.


	4. Climax

Spencer wearily walked through the corridors of the BAU and slumped down to his desk, he moaned softly.

"You alright there kid?" Morgan smirked and patted Reid's shoulder.

"Go away," he mumbled and swatted lazily at Morgan's hand. Morgan chuckled.

"Look alive, if Hotch sees you like that, he's gonna fire your ass," Morgan warned. Spencer's stomach knotted and he swallowed thickly hearing his boss' name. He pulled his head up and took the coffee that had now materialized in front of him from J.J.

"Thanks," he winced and sipped it carefully. Hotch walked into the BAU and made a beeline for Reid's desk;

"Reid, can I talk to you in my office please?" Hotch looked stern, but then again, he always did.

"Uhh sure?" he stood up and bit his lip; Morgan smirked and looked at him.

"Told you so," he whispered and wiggled his eyebrows. He followed Hotch to his office and swallowed thickly; his throat was so dry. Hotch held the door open for him and closed it, locking it behind them. He closed the blinds before turning back to look at him.

"Sit down," he offered him a chair in front of his desk," Spencer sat down and look up at Hotch;

"So about last night, I think-" Hotch interrupted him, not with words but by placing his finger on his lips. Reid raised one eyebrow and smirked beneath Hotch's finger, Hotch met this smirk with his own. Reid walked over to the wall behind Hotch's desk and leaned against it. Hotch followed his lead, walking over putting his right hand on the wall next to Reid's head.

"Do you still want to talk Spencer?" Hotch spoke, huskily. Spencer merely shook his head. Hotch ran his hand up his subordinate's chest and tugged lightly at the tie he was wearing, pulling the knot loose. He captured Spencer's lips in his and Spencer moaned softly. Hotch began to undo the buttons of Spencer's sweater-vest and eased it off of his slender figure. Spencer hooked his arms behind Hotch's and with his hands on his shoulders; he pulled him urgently to him. Hotch groaned at the younger man taking a little control over him; it certainly made a change.

He surprised him further still when he turned them both so he could push Hotch up against the wall; he pushed his body as close as was humanly possible against him. A small gasp emerged from Spencer's lips, as their tongues met in sweet rapture. He pulled at Hotch's tie and fumbled nervously to get it off. Hotch took off his suit jacket, casting it upon his desk to help him out. He felt himself harden considerably at the feel of Spencer's leg pressed between his, and he closed his eyes. He had never truly been able to let go during the act before; there was always something ticking in his brain, but right now nothing but the scent of Spencer's hair, the feel of his body was present in the Agent's mind.

Spencer dared himself to reach his hand down Hotch's body and feel the soft, defined chest beneath his blue shirt. He grazed his nails against it and smiled as he saw the reaction he was causing in every part of Hotch's body. He became bolder still, and ran his hands lower, to run over the waistband of the pants Hotch was wearing. He swallowed thickly as he felt the anatomy of another man for the first time. Hotch took one hand and matched the position of Spencer, he too partaking in this delicious, new sensation. Spencer let out a small, strangled yelp and Hotch chuckled softly under his breath. He was back in control; just the way he liked it.

Hotch used his free hand to grab Spencer's and without hesitation urge him to stimulate him underneath his clothes. Spencer obliged willingly and slipped his hand beneath the boxers. His kisses became more fierce, his breathing more rugged as he felt Spencer's hands stroking his most sensitive parts. He let words like; "God damn," and "Spencer," tumble from his lips, which he licked as they became dry. Spencer pressed his lips to Hotch's ear, his breathing setting Hotch's whole body on fire; he felt a little dizzy from it. Hotch turned them back again so he could slam Spencer up against the wall. He began to kiss his neck softly at first, then nipping and biting him, making him yelp with every little nip. Spencer pulled at Hotch's hair and slowly kissed down his neck.

He unbuttoned his trousers and slid them and the boxers down. He licked his lips softly and took the older Agent's cock slowly into his mouth. Hotch gasped at the surprise and let his hand fall into Spencer's hair, he tugged it lightly. Spencer teased at Hotch relentlessly with his tongue, going from shallow to deep, hard to soft. He used his hand at the base and worked his long fingers around it. Hotch had to bite down on his lip until it almost bled to stop from moaning too loudly as he climbed higher and higher.

He bucked his hips involuntarily in response to these delicious feelings. He clamped his hand over his mouth and bit down as he reached his climax; he knew if he didn't he would have cried out. Spencer swallowed thickly and stood up to kiss Hotch hotly, his taste between the two of them now.

Hotch smirked as he pulled up his boxers and his trousers, and straightened out his shirt. He silently reached down and worked his fingers inside of Spencer's underwear and stroked him softly. He never took is eyes off of Spencer's face the entire time he was touching him; he wanted to see the effect he was having on him. Spencer gasped and gripped Hotch's wrist trying to urge him to be rougher in his movements, Hotch slapped his hand away and grabbed his tie edging him backwards towards his desk.

He effortlessly cleared the desk's contents by sending them cascading to the floor. He pushed Spencer onto the desk and clambered on top of him. He continued to pleasure him with his hand, grinding against him in time with his movements. Spencer grabbed Hotch closer and scraped his nails deeply across Hotch's back, his back arched and he trembled softly; Hotch had to kiss Spencer forcefully as he rode out his orgasm; his moans were almost getting to be dangerously loud. Hotch pulled his hand out of Spencer's underwear and pulled out his handkerchief to wipe his hand. He licked his finger and smirked, kissing him softly one last time. He picked up his tie and put it back on, throwing Spencer his too, they had rearranged themselves just in time to hear a tapping on the door. Hotch went over to the door and noiselessly unlocked it; he went and sat back down at his desk.

"Come in," he said, clearing his throat. J.J popped her head around the door;

"Sorry, hope I'm not interrupting anything important, I just wanted to let you know we have a new case, and the briefing should be starting in five minutes," she smiled softly.

"No, Reid and I are all finished, we're coming now," Hotch said, biting his cheek so as not to smile. Reid stifled a giggle and looked at the wall; he knew if he looked at Hotch he would crack up. J.J frowned and narrowed her eyes and shook her head.

"Alright, board room in five?"

"Sure," Hotch replied and smiled a little; he caught Reid's eye and shared a secret, inside joke with him about what they had just shared. Reid bit his lip and winked; luckily his back was to J.J so it went unnoticed. Hotch stood up and walked past Spencer, subtly whispering in his ear;

"You haven't seen anything yet Spencer," he chuckled softly and walked out of his office, straightening his tie as he went. _I wish he would stop doing that! _Spencer thought to himself and followed his lead. Morgan walked up next to him;

"So? Did you get into trouble? Getting a note to take home?" he said, mirth in his eyes.

"Oh yeah, I got a good seeing to," Spencer said, making Hotch; who was only a few paces in front of him chuckle uncharacteristically.

"I'm sure it won't be the last time either will it Reid?" Hotch said, knowingly.

"It's doubtful," he smirked, but maintained his composure. Hotch raised an eyebrow and twitched a smile.

"Why is he smiling?" Morgan asked, quietly.

"That's confidential," Reid smirked.

"What?" he replied.

"Drop it will you?" Reid chuckled.

"Now Reid, what did we discuss in there?" Hotch mock glared at him.

"Not a whole lot," he mumbled, trying not to smirk.

"Reid, now is not the time, we can have another discussion later," Hotch twitched that smile again.

"I'll be sure to put it in my day planner," he bit his lip again. They walked into the board room and sat down, Hotch took place next to Spencer, and no sooner had they pulled their chairs in, Hotch reached his hand out. He felt for Spencer's hand and clasped it inside his. He stroked it softly with his thumb and smiled down at the table. _Damn_, he thought, _I think I'm falling in love. _


	5. Capture

FIVE DAYS LATER

Hotch stared up at the ceiling and sighed angrily. He had been unable to sleep all night, and he had no idea why. Usually he was working, but he had finished everything by eleven. He had climbed into bed and tossed and turned for hours. It was now four-thirty and he rubbed his eyes and yawned. He threw the beige-coloured duvet off and stretched as he stood up. He ambled into the kitchen of his modern yet sparse apartment; he had moved into it when he and his late wife Haley, had gotten a divorce. Jack lived with Haley's sister because of the very thing that drove them apart; Hotch's work. He had unknowingly always put work before his family, but he was too stubborn to see it; even now, after she had died. He had Jack when he wasn't working; which wasn't often, but he cherished every moment he spent with his son.

He shook his head and ruffled his hair as he waited for the coffee to brew. He picked up his work cell and put it back down again; no calls. He poured himself a large, black coffee and took it over to his work desk. He switched his laptop on and he frowned as his IMBuddy logged in. JJ had convinced the team to get the social network messenger a few months ago. She even convinced Spencer; a complete technophobe who didn't even use e-mail to get it. She wouldn't take no for an answer; Spencer eventually caved and bent to her will; he knew she would get what she wanted one way or another. _That girl had some sort of powers_ Hotch had thought at the time.

Hotch hated to admit it, but he actually quite liked using it. The only other social network Hotch used was Facebook; his only friends being the team, and his family of course. Hotch didn't have a need for large groups of friends; he preferred to do things alone. He frowned when he saw an IM message pop up;

AwkwardGenius says:

Heyy, what are you doing up this early?

_Spencer._ He caught himself in the mirror smiling a little;

AgentAHotch says:

Can't sleep. You?

AwkwardGenius says:

Me either. So how are you, aside from the insomnia of course? :)

AgentAHotch says:

Okay I guess, nice to have you to talk to :)

AwkwardGenius says:

N'aww. You too. So the other day, huh?

AgentAHotch says:

Yes...indeed... :P

AwkwardGenius says:

Are we gonna talk about it? O.o

AgentAHotch says:

Of course, but not on here.

AwkwardGenius says:

Why not? No one's around and I'm alone are you?

AgentAHotch says:

Yes. But as you well know Spence, they can read our files and messages at any time.

AwkwardGenius says:

Oh yeah haha, good point.

*TheOracle is online and wants to join the chat, accept?*

Spencer clicked yes without thinking, bringing Garcia into their private chat. He would have rather had Hotch all to himself but they had to be careful with what they were saying, as Hotch had pointed out;

TheOracle says:

Hey Wonder Boy, what ya up at this crazy time for?

AwkwardGenius says:

Not much, gotta get ready for work soon :/ you?

TheOracle says:

Well Kevin and I were just finishing off :P

AwkwardGenius says:

Uhhmm Garcia...

TheOracle says:

Oh come on Spencer! It's just sex *eyeroll*

AgentAHotch says:

Morning Garcia

TheOracle says:

:O ... Hi Sir...didn't see you there *facepalm*

AwkwardGenius says:

I tried to warn you LOL

AgentAHotch says:

You're not on the clock Garcia, what you do in your own time is no one's business. Although please, for the love of all that is holy, don't make it mine O.o

TheOracle says:

Duly noted. I have to go anyways, just thought I'd say a quick hello, see ya at the Office guys! Mwah!

*TheOracle has left the chat*

AgentAHotch says:

She's very peculiar

AwkwardGenius says:

Some people say that about you :P

AgentAHotch says:

I'm not peculiar

AwkwardGenius says:

Oh lighten up Agent No-Smile :P

AgentAHotch says:

?

AwkwardGenius says:

What? You never smile so we call you Agent No-Smile

AgentAHotch says:

I do to smile :D see?

AwkwardGenius says:

Yeah, you write :D but I bet you're really like :| :P

*AgentAHotch sent you a picture*

AwkwardGenius says:

Oh wow! It's true! You DO smile

*AwkwardGenius sent you a picture*

AgentAHotch says:

You don't need to look so shocked Spencer :P

"Don't type another word." A harsh voice whispered behind Spencer, a leather-clad hand clamped tightly over his mouth. He tried to look around to see who his assailant was, but it was no use. He swallowed thickly and nodded.

AgentAHotch says:

You still there Spencer?

"Tell him you have to go, and you will see him at work, do it now," he growled, Spencer caught sight of the glimmering metal of a knife and he lifted his shaking hands to type;

AwkwardGenius says:

Yeah I gotta go though, I'll see you at work later, CALL me and give me the 911,

AgentAHotch says:

911? You mean 411?

AwkwardGenius says:

...

*AwkwardGenius has left the chat*

Hotch frowned. _That was strange_, he thought to himself, he didn't even say goodbye. He shook his head and logged out of the chat. He finished the last of his coffee and walked into the bathroom. He relieved himself, and undressed, turning the shower on. The water was incredibly hot; hotter than most people could take, but Hotch loved his showers to be hot; it really helped to clear his head. He sighed softly as the hot stream of water flowed and beaded on his skin, he washed his hair and switched the shower off; begrudgingly of course.

He tousled his hair with a towel and then wrapped it around his waist. He went to his closet and organized his favourite suit on the bed; red tie, black suit, white shirt. He pulled on a clean pair of boxers and put his trousers on. He put on a pair of black socks and started to button up the shirt. He buttoned it to the top and put the tie around his neck. He looked in the mirror whilst he was tying it and he straightened it to make sure it was dead centre. He went back out into the living room, sat down and placed his jacket on the back of the chair. He opened his briefcase and looked over the paperwork he had completed the previous evening.

The man who had broken into Spencer's home threw him against the wall, knocking his head and dazing him temporarily. He slammed the lid of Spencer's laptop down and launched it against the wall, narrowly missing his head. He dragged him up again, knocking over the floor lamp; he threw him down onto the coffee table; which had now been reduced to a pile of glass, and chrome framing. Spencer winced, as he felt the angry shards of glass embed through his thin white t-shirt, crimson flourishes now appearing.

He closed his eyes and held his breath; he was hoping his assailant would think he was dead and leave him. He heard rustling and things being thrown, and then he felt what was probably rope, being tied around his wrists. He remained motionless as the man put a pillowcase over his head. He then dragged him out of the front door, wrenching his wrists painfully. He bundled him into a vehicle of some kind and he heard the door slam. He couldn't see through the opacity of the pillowcase but he could tell from the lack of light, that the windows had been blacked out and he was probably in a van; he had quite a lot of room in the back. He must have only been in there for ten minutes, and with his memory in over-drive he started to deduce where he was by pin-pointing which places were ten minutes from his house. _Does this guy know I'm an FBI Agent?_ He thought to himself;

_If he knows I work for the BAU, surely he knows I can figure this out? Which means he's more than likely gonna kill me. I wonder if Hotch got my message._

He had no time to finish his thought as he was being dragged out of the van. He heard a door unlock and he was walked down some stairs. He counted twenty. Then a second door opened and he was pushed into a room. The pillowcase was yanked off his head and he looked around, blinking to get used to the light of this room.

The windows were covered by deep purple velvet curtains, but there were bright tube lights on he walls, which were painted the colour of blood and there was little furniture; only a chair with a wooden frame attached to it, a bucket suspended from it, and another chair opposite that. He also noticed there was a box about six feet long that loosely resembled a coffin, in the corner. _What's going to happen to me...?_ He thought, and swallowed thickly. He was led over to the chair with the frame and was made to sit down. The man had a shroud covering his face; all Spencer could see of the man was his piercing grey eyes. They looked compulsively at the wrists of Spencer Reid.

"What's your name?" Spencer said, trying in hope of talking his way out of this.

"I don't have a name. Don't talk," he hissed and he untied Spencer's wrists, for a minute; he then tied one to each side of the chair.

"You don't have to tie me up; I won't run away," Spencer appeased.

"How dumb do you think I am?" he glared, and made sure the ropes were tight enough to eat into Spencer's skin if he moved.

"I don't think you're dumb, I just want to understand," Spencer spoke softly.

"That Fed is your boss, right?" he narrowed his eyes.

"He's my boss, yes" Spencer said matter-of-factly.

"What do you actually do for the FBI?" the man asked, gruffly.

"I'm a Supervisory Special Agent," Spencer said, calmly. The man laughed;

"You? You're skinny and weak; I barely had to drag you! What use would they have for you? Target practice?" he mocked him, the eyes now filled with mirth and menace.

"I have an eidetic memory; I have three PhD's and an I.Q of 187. They find me useful," Spencer spoke almost brusquely at this comment.

"They're gonna be looking for me you know," he said, meekly.

"Oh I know, I already sent them a message," he smiled, wickedly.

-09:00 BAU, Quantico, Virginia-

Hotch walked into the BAU, and set his briefcase down upon his desk. Morgan stuck his head around the door;

"Hotch? Have you seen Reid today? The kid is hardly ever late and he said he'd be here an hour ago. He always tells someone if he's gonna be late. This was on his desk too," he handed him a playing card; it was the Joker card, and it said "Who's laughing now?" on it. Hotch frowned, and his stomach became a little knotted;

"Have you called him?" Hotch looked at the card and bit his lip. This was strange, very strange.

"Yeah, we all have, he's not picking up Hotch," Morgan shook his head in defeat.

"I'll go to his place; you keep trying him on his cell. Let's not panic until we have to, alright? Get Garcia to try and trace his cell," Hotch responded, his voice was even and calm, nothing like his heart which was hammering so hard, it threatened to break his chest. He left the office, and climbed into an FBI-issued black SUV, and drove the six miles to Reid's apartment. _Is this anything to do with why he logged off so abruptly? I thought that was strange..._ Hotch thought and climbed out of the car. He checked he had his weapon secured under his jacket, and he walked up to the front door. He pressed the buzzer to Spencer's apartment and waited;

"C'mon Spencer, answer," he mumbled to himself. After twenty seconds, he pressed another buzzer and an older lady answered;

"Hello?" she said, meekly.

"Hi, I need to get into the building to see Spencer, he's over-slept I'm his boss?" Hotch hated lying, but he knew in this case he had no choice.

"Oh, you're Agent...?" she had forgotten his name

"Hotchner Ma'am, Aaron Hotchner,"

"That was a test, I had to make sure you weren't some crazy guy looking to hurt anyone," she chuckled and buzzed him in.

"Thank you, Ma'am," he pushed the door and ran the three flights of stairs to Spencer's apartment. He knocked on the door;

"Spencer? Spence? It's Aaron, are you okay?" he waited then took the door handle in his hand and it clicked open easily. He pulled out his gun, and pointed it holding it low at first, but upon seeing the disarray in the living room; the broken coffee table, the smashed laptop, the blood, he ran through to clear the place. On confirming the place was completely empty he scanned around, looking for any indication as to where Spencer could have gone.

He felt his eyes become slightly moist and he swallowed thickly, his mouth dry as he pulled out his cell. He dialled Morgan's cell and waited;

"Morgan, Spencer is gone. I got here and there's evidence of a struggle. His laptop is smashed, there are things broken all over, coffee table is smashed...and there's blood," he finished quietly.

"Are you serious? Is there enough blood for him to be...?" Morgan couldn't finish his sentence.

"No, probably about half a pint at most, but if whoever took him doesn't get him medical attention then...maybe. It looks like he was thrown down on the table and the glass is what cut him but I can't be too sure. I checked, his credentials, his wallet, his keys, everything is here; including his cell." Hotch sighed and tried not to become emotional.

"Damn it! So we got nothing to go on? No way to trace where he is?" Morgan started to become angry;

"No, I'm afraid not," Hotch said sadly.

"Hold on a minute Hotch, Garcia's calling," he placed his boss on hold and answered her;

"Hey baby girl," he sounded sad,

"Morgan something uber-weird just happened," she said, sounding creeped out.

"What do you mean?" he replied and frowned.

"Well, Spencer just updated his Facebook status saying; Spencer Reid is in a secret place. Why would he write that?" Garcia sounded puzzled.

"What? Reid didn't write that Garcia, can you triangulate the signal?"

"Uhhh sure, what do you mean he didn't write it? You mean he was hacked?"

"No...Garcia...Reid is missing...We think somebody took him," he said softly.

Garcia gasped audibly;

"Oh my God..." she sat in shock for a few seconds before working her magic on the signal location;

"All I can tell you is the location is nearby, within eight miles of Reid's home address, twelve miles from the BAU and eight miles of the crematorium, it's a relatively small area, but the signal has been run through a proxy server so the I.P address changes every ten seconds, meaning I can't pinpoint the location affirmatively," she sounded frantic;

"Morgan...you're gonna find him, right? He's gonna be okay?" she sounded like she was about to cry.

"Yes. We're going to find him Penelope," Morgan replied, determined and slightly angry.

"Thanks baby girl, I'll keep you updated," he ended the call and went back to Hotch;

"Hotch we may have something, the kidnapper is updating Reid's Facebook status from a device, Garcia said it's being run through a proxy server to avoid an affirmative detection. She did say that's within eight miles of both Reid's home and the crematorium, and twelve miles from the BAU," Morgan concluded, waiting for orders from Hotch.

"That's quite a limited location, get Prentiss and Rossi, and the three of you grab as many uniform officers as you can. Start canvassing that search area; businesses, residential homes, I don't care what's there, just find him. Have Garcia keep a watch on his Facebook page, see if the UnSub posts again, I'm going to bring in his laptop even though it's broken; Garcia may be able to run a trace through his hard drive to see if there's anything useful on there. I'll talk to J.J and we will formulate a plan to communicate with this UnSub, see if we can get him to slip up and tell us where to find Spencer," Hotch replied, rubbing his temple. He hung up the phone and sighed.

Spencer looked up at the ceiling, his arms sore from being restrained. He frowned;

"What's that bucket for?" he quizzed, a little unsure whether he should speak.

"You'll find out," he said, bluntly and commenced to climb up, filling the bucket with water. Spencer narrowed his eyes and he could see a tiny hole in the bucket. He felt a drop land on his forehead and he shook his head. The man walked over and held his head still, his grip like a vice. He pushed his head back onto a headrest and strapped it down forcefully. He adjusted the bucket and climbed down again.

Spencer could see each and every drop fall and land upon his forehead; he could no longer move to shake them away. He was being subjected to Chinese water-torture. He had discredited the existence of psychological trauma caused by this method, but then he had never experienced it until now. He had a feeling he was going to change his mind, depending on how long he was to endure this. The water was so cold; it felt like tiny icicles falling upon him.

Hotch checked his phone as it had buzzed; he had an email;

To: SSA_Aaron_Hotchner BAU_ .com

Cc: SSA_Jennifer_Jareau BAU_ , SSA_Derek_Morgan BAU_ .com, SSA_Emily_Prentiss BAU_ .com, SSA_David_Rossi BAU_ .com, Penelope_Garcia BAU_ .com

Subject: Your Agent

SSA Aaron Hotchner,

I believe this belongs to you:

IMGJPEG0014

Don't worry, he's in a nice safe place, for now at least. You have 48 hours to find him from the moment you open this e-mail. (I have a read receipt set up just for you). Any longer and I'm afraid he's going to die,

FBI WATCH CLOCK

47:58:24

Tick-tock, Agents,

Anon,

PS: Good luck, I really hope you find him, sincerely I do, he's very sad without you.

Hotch clenched his jaw and growled. He had to resist the urge to throw his phone at the wall. He called Morgan back;

"Did you get the email?" he growled.

"Yes. We all were copied into it, he's taunting us," he sighed, angrily.

"Did Garcia have any luck with the triangulation?" he said, hastily.

"No, same as before; run through a proxy server, she's trying to catch up with it now, but the device is using top of the range technology to hide himself; the son of a bitch," Morgan said, through clenched teeth.

"I have an idea; get everyone on their laptops and onto IMBuddy. We can communicate together then, and we may be able to contact the UnSub; if he's got onto Spencer's Facebook, chances are he made him log into IMBuddy," Hotch said, as he pulled his PDA out and logged onto IMBuddy. He waited;

*FBIguy79 wants to chat, accept?*

He clicked accept and waited for the others to join;

*TheOracle, LoveableRogue, EmilyTheStrange and AgentBlondie want to chat, accept?*

He accepted them and hoped that soon Spencer's captor would soon log on so Garcia could try and crack the pattern;

LoveableRogue says:

No sign of Reid?

AgentAHotch says:

Not yet, we can hope.

TheOracle says:

I'm doing my best gang, it's not a regular pattern, but I'll keep working on it.

EmilyTheStrange says:

Do you think the UnSub knows who Spencer is? That he works for the BAU?

AgentBlondie says:

Maybe, could be trying to get something from the FBI and he's using Spence as a bargaining chip?

AgentAHotch says:

It's possible, or maybe he just picked an apartment at random, and broke in. He could have pretended to be a mail man or something to get in the front door, then apprehended him when he answered his own front door.

LoveableRogue says:

We grabbed undercover officers and they're out knocking on doors now, and we have surveillance as close to his apartment as we could without raising him alarm, but without knowing an exact location, it's hard.

FBIguy79 says:

Good, okay so our UnSub seems like a narcissistic personality that has a power-complex. We're probably looking for a guy who works out, physically over-powering, but isn't noticed; an average guy who wouldn't cause a disturbance in his day to day life.

AgentAHotch says:

Agreed. I think we're looking for someone aged thirty-five and forty-five, possibly a Narcissistic Personality Disorder sufferer; he needs the power over someone to get his satisfaction.

AgentBlondie says:

What about...sexual assault?

EmilyTheStrange says:

...

AgentAHotch says:

I don't think it fits the profile. I hope it doesn't. We have to be open to all possibilities, but it seems our UnSub doesn't necessarily want to hurt Spencer, but to use him to get our attention.

*AwkwardGenius wants to join your chat, accept?*

AgentAHotch says:

Spencer is online!

Hotch clicked accept, his heart racing a little;

AwkwardGenius says:

So Agents, how are we all?

FBIguy79 says:

Where is Spencer?

AwkwardGenius says:

Oh is that his name? He's in a safe place; he should start going insane soon. I can't wait.

AgentAHotch says:

What have you done to him?

AwkwardGenius says:

I'm not hurting him if that's what you mean.

AgentAHotch says:

If he is missing so much as a hair I'll kill you.

AwkwardGenius says:

Oh dear, we DO have a temper don't we Aaron? Is there something you're not telling me about him? He your lover or something?

AgentAHotch says:

...Where. Is. Agent. Reid?

AwkwardGenius says:

Raw nerve? *AwkwardGenius sent you a picture* See? He's alive.

Hotch felt his stomach drop, he clenched his fists and punched the wall;

"Damn it!" he rubbed his head and sighed;

AgentAHotch says:

Bring him back.

AwkwardGenius says:

FBI WATCH CLOCK:  
39:58:11

AwkwardGenius says:

Tick tock.

*AwkwardGenius has left the chat.*


	6. Creep

FBI WATCH CLOCK:

26:33:12

Spencer flinched and whimpered as the drips continued to torment him. His vision was blurred and his stomach ached from lack of sustenance. It had been almost twenty-two hours since this nightmare had begun. His wrists were covered in abrasions from the rope-ties that bound him. His throat was dry and hoarse from lack of water, and he felt himself slowly starting to lose it. The man would occasionally peer at him for a few moments and then walk away; he was waiting for Spencer to die from dehydration. His jaw ached from clenching constantly, bracing for the next drop; it had started to invoke panic in him every time he saw it. He had tried to close his eyes and block it all out, but it was no use. _Where the hell is Hotch? _Spencer thought to himself; this was the only thought he had to keep him going through this madness. The man loomed above him once more and he whimpered softly;

"Why are you doing this to me?" he sniffled, and blinked water; he did not know at this point if the drops were tears or water droplets.

"Don't worry Spencer, it will all be over soon," he said in a soft, but spaced out voice. Spencer winced as he felt two sharp pains in his wrists, then the warm trickle of blood winding down his arm and through his fingers.

"You'll see Spencer," he stroked Spencer's forehead softly;

"It's for the best, you'll see," he almost whispered; Spencer noticed he had tears in his eyes.

"This is where we part ways Spencer…who knows? Maybe your friends will find you in time, maybe they won't," he smirked a little and Spencer heard footsteps. He heard the quiet and quick typing of the man;

*AwkwardGenius wants to chat, accept?* Hotch's heart skipped a beat as he clicked accept and messaged all of his Agents;

AgentAHotch says:

He's back online!

*AwkwardGenius has joined your chat*

AwkwardGenius says:

Hello Aaron. Have you worked it out yet?

AgentAHotch says:

Cut the BS. I don't have time for your games.

AwkwardGenius says:

Yes indeed...neither does Spencer.

*AwkwardGenius sent you a picture* Hotch gasped in horror and clenched his jaw in a bid to stay calm; he needed a level head.

AgentAHotch says:

You son of a bitch.

FBIguy79 says:

Hotch; not helping.

*AgentAHotch sent you a picture*

FBIguy79 says:

Goddamn!

EmilyTheStrange says:

...

TheOracle says:

Spencer!

AgentAHotch says:

Is he...?

AwkwardGenius says:

Not yet, he has about two hours left I'd say.

AgentAHotch says:

The clock says twenty six hours.

AwkwardGenius says:

I got bored waiting; he was boring me.

TheOracle says:

Sir! I've done it! I've cracked the I.P address! It's...I can't get an address but it's within this small search grid, I've sent the co-ordinates to your PDA sir.

AwkwardGenius says:

Well, I must say I'm impressed. Let's hope he's still alive when you get here.

*AwkwardGenius has left the chat*

AgentAHotch says:

Everyone get here now, you should all have the co-ordinates now.

FBIguy79 says:

On it Hotch.

*FBIguy79, EmilyTheStrange, Loveable Rogue, AgentBlondie and TheOracle have left the chat*

Spencer felt two hands grab him and wrench him from the chair; he gasped as the rope bit into the slash marks the man had made. He pulled his head from the vice and picked him up. Spencer tried to fight him, but he was weak and shaky from not eating and drinking. He let his head fall a little and he saw he was being taken over to the big box in the corner; the one that resembled a coffin. The man put Spencer down, his knee keeping him to the floor;

"Don't worry Spencer; my Mother will look after you when I'm gone," he opened the box and threw Spencer inside and slammed the lid shut. He screamed and hammered on the lid, but the man only pounded back before locking it with a dead bolt. Spencer began to choke on the putrid smell from inside the box and he screamed himself hoarse when he accidentally touched something with his hands. It was a corpse; a woman's corpse;

"Don't worry, my Mother won't bite. I'd say you have about an hour and thirty minute's worth of air left. Use it wisely," he laughed maniacally and Spencer heard the footsteps diminish, and then a door slam. He swallowed thickly and closed his eyes, trying desperately to stay calm; hyperventilating would only kill him faster, he knew that.

Hotch turned around as he heard Morgan shout his name;

"Hotch! We're here, what should we do?" he asked, sweat on his forehead from running half a block; Hotch had told them to park a little way away from the potentially location.

"There are two potential locations, these two abandoned houses," he pointed at them;

"Morgan, you, JJ and Rossi take the left one, Prentiss and I will take the right one." Hotch spoke hurriedly. He pulled out his FBI-issued weapon and ran across the street, Prentiss in hot pursuit. He saw Rossi, JJ and Morgan out of the corner of his eye, running towards the other building;

"Prentiss, you start downstairs, I'll go upstairs, alright?" Hotch said looking his Agent in the eye.

"You got it Hotch," she nodded. Hotch kicked at the old door with all his strength and it caved within seconds. He stormed in and ran swiftly up the stairs, making sure the house was clear. He shouted;

"Spencer? Spencer? Are you here?" he looked around suspiciously; he lowered but did not holster his weapon. He looked in every room and was only disturbed by the insistent shouting of Emily Prentiss;

"Hotch! Get down here!" she sounded terrified. He ran with everything he had, tripping a little on the stairs and burst through the basement door. He saw Emily crouched by a box in the corner and ran over. He could hear the feeble groaning of Spencer Reid within the box;

"Spencer? It's me, it's Aaron okay? I have to shoot the lock off of this box to get you out, ready? One, two, three," he shot the deadbolt and it snapped off. Hotch wrenched the box open and gasped in horror at what he saw. Spencer's wrists were still bleeding, his skin was becoming pale and he was hot and clammy, but that was not what scared him. A fresh corpse laid beside him, a woman whom could only have been dead for four days at the most. He had never seen Spencer look so terrified in his life. Emily stood up, both gagging from the smell of the decomposing body and wiping tears away at seeing her friend this way. She used her radio to contact the other Agents.

Hotch lifted Spencer out of the coffin and pulled him in to his arms. He stroked his hair and kissed his forehead;

"It's okay, Spencer, it's okay, I'm so sorry, it's okay," he cradled him, trying not to break down, he buried his head in Spencer's chest. Emily frowned and looked down at the two of them and her eyes widened as she realized the truth;

"Oh my God...he was right," Emily stammered, looking at Hotch who turned;

"Not now Emily," he whispered and wiped his eye. The other Agents came charging in, just as the sirens rang through the air. They looked on sadly;

"Hotch?" Rossi tried to get the attention of his boss, but it fell upon deaf ears. Hotch carried Spencer to the ambulance and climbed in next to him. He took is hand in both of his and kissed it softly. His team looked on, some in shock, some in confusion and they turned to one another asking;

"Did you know?" and;

"What the hell is going on?"

Emily climbed into the ambulance opposite Hotch and said softly;

"Do you want us to meet you at the hospital?" he touched his shoulder.

"You guys get back to the BAU; we need to find the UnSub before he takes someone else. I'll stay with Spencer," Hotch said, much softer than normal.

"Okay, call us, keep us updated?" she replied, matching his soft tone.

"Of course, thank you for everything, I know we wouldn't have found him so quick with any other team. Tell the others thank you," Hotch replied, his intense stare back on his face, only now it seemed haunted almost. Emily climbed out of the ambulance and replayed her conversation with Hotch;

"I'll call Garcia, I know she would want to know we found Reid, and we can start working on finding this son of a bitch. We put in extra hours; we do everything until this guy is locked up or in the ground, agreed?" Morgan said, the fire in his voice burning strong.

"Agreed," the others simultaneously replied. They climbed back into their SUVs and morosely made their way back to the BAU. No one spoke on the drive home; they were too shocked at the last two days' events and none of them were in the mood for their usual, playful small talk.

Hotch refused to let go of Spencer's hand even when the nurse was trying to clean and dress his wounds; he simply gave her that "Hotch" stare and she continued with her work without another word. They had placed a fluid IV to re-hydrate and nourish Spencer's weak body. Hotch sat beside him, staring unrelentingly at him, willing him to wake. He left only one time to use the bathroom, scared he would wake alone and scared, he came running straight back. He waited for six hours and finally, he felt Spencer's hand shift in his ever so slightly and he looked at him a little frantically. Spencer opened his eyes and smiled very faintly. Hotch smiled warmly and squeezed his hand;

"Welcome back, Spencer," he whispered.


	7. Comeback

Spencer smiled a little and stroked Hotch's hand softly;

"I know you'd find me," he whispered gently.

"I wouldn't have stopped looking until I did, I hope you know that," he replied, his voice catching a little in his throat;

"I haven't felt that scared, that nauseated with desperation since Haley died," he whispered softly. Spencer looked down at the quiver in Hotch's voice as he talked about his ex wife;

"I know," he squeezed his hand softly and continued;

"I wasn't scared of dying; I've been there, the other half of Tobias Hankel could have killed me, but that's not what scared me this time. I was just scared I would never see you again," he gulped, tears spilling down his ashen face. Hotch looked up and caught the younger Agent's eye and bit his lip, his own eyes becoming moist;

"Well that's just silly," he said, his voice wavering. Spencer shook his head softly and closed his eyes, sniffling;

"No, I'm serious Aaron. You were my last thought before the world went black; I knew that if I wasn't going to make it, I was going to die thinking about the only thing I knew that truly mattered; you." he sobbed softly, clutching Hotch's hand; he too had succumbed to the overwhelming emotion which had before threatened to devour him. It was a mixture of relief, pity, sadness, anger and shame; he felt responsible for this poor man's plight. He leaned up and kissed Spencer lovingly and sighed. He stroked the side of his face and smiled softly, his voice gentle;

"You don't ever have to worry about that again. You need to get some sleep," he kissed his forehead softly. He needn't have even said the words, as Spencer's eyes had already closed, his cheeks laden with tear tracks. He leaned his head down on the bed next to Spencer, and took his hand into his;

"I'll never let you go again,"

THREE MONTHS LATER

Spencer had been away from the BAU on a leave of absence ever since the kidnapping; he had been ordered this by Hotch, Strauss and the rest of the team. He had decided that he had to go back a week ago, and today was the day he was to return. He opened the refrigerator to get out the milk and sighed when he saw there was none;

"Did you get the milk on your way home?" Spencer shouted up the stairs;

"Oh shoot! I forgot! Sorry," Hotch shouted back, he knew he would forget; he always did. "I'll run out and get some, do we need anything else you forgot?" he smirked as Hotch came down the stairs in nothing but a towel; he was drying his hair as he walked.

"You know you don't actually live here, Spence?" he scowled mockingly and laughed.

"I know, but when I don't get my coffee, I get cranky; you know this," he pouted and folded his arms in protest. Hotch chuckled and kissed him softly;

"You;re cute when you're mad," he ruffled his hair softly.

"I'm not mad," he whined.

"Now you're whining," he out his arms around Spencer's neck.

"Am not!" he pouted again and swatted at Hotch's hands. Hotch smirked and kissed him again;

"Alright, you stay here and sulk, and I'll go get milk for YOUR coffee, hmm?" he looked at him, clearly amused.

"I'd get dressed first," he smirked a little.

"Oh you think so? I was thinking of going like this," he rolled his eyes and shook his head before laughing again; he loved how much he smiled and laughed again since Spencer came along. He'd missed it.

"Hurry up, we have to go to work," Spencer tapped his wrist to reiterate his point.

"I know that Spencer, what I don't know is why you can't wait until you get to work for your coffee?" Hotch questioned, Spencer looked at him silently; he had a point.

"Well...I want it now," Spencer frowned.

"Did you just stamp your foot like a little child?" Hotch grinned with mirth.

"No," Spencer looked at the wall guiltily.

"Yes you did, you stamped your foot like a little child. My son does that when I take his dinosaur toy away at dinner time," Hotch twitched another smirk and pulled on some fresh underwear from the dryer, and the suit trousers he had pressed the night before. He threw the towel into the laundry basket and chuckled again;

"Let me just get my shirt on and I'll go, okay?"

"Fiiiiine," Spencer sighed dramatically and walked past Hotch, kissing him as he went.

"Don't take too long," he smiled softly.

"Do I ever? Wait, don't answer that..." Hotch realised the connotations of what he had just said. Spencer burst out laughing;

"Don't worry, it happens to a lot of guys," he ran up the stairs before Hotch could catch him.

"Hey! I have no problems in that department thank you very much!" Hotch swatted at him with his tie before putting it on over the shirt he had just put on. He pushed Spencer onto the bed and they both laughed breathlessly;

"You don't have to prove a point you know, I was only joking," Spencer smirked.

"I know, but hey, guess I just can't resist you, eh?" he leaned down and kissed Spencer deeply, then pulled back. He looked into the dark eyes of Spencer Reid and he smiled. Spencer looked up at him and smiled back; he rested his hand on the back of Hotch's neck and whispered;

"I love you," Hotch blinked for a second and then stammered;

"You...Really?" he frowned and Spencer nodded;

"Don't you?" he looked a little worried. Hotch smiled slowly;

"Yeah...I do, I...I love you," Spencer smiled and kissed Hotch tenderly;

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. It kinda makes all the bad stuff that happened to me, worth it. I did my time and look what I got as a reward. It's worth all the sleepless nights and flashing images I've seen; the horror," he gulped softly; he was still haunted by those fateful days. He had suffered every day since no matter how he tried to hide it, Hotch knew. He slept next to him and held him as he woke up, gripped by terror, going back to that harrowing house again. It didn't help that after three months, the UnSub was still in the wind. This filled Spencer with unparalleled panic, made him twitchy and nervous; Strauss had called into question his ability to do his job on more than one occasion these last few months. Hotch had always told her he was perfectly capable, he had the support of the team. He had elected not to tell his paranoid Schizophrenic mother; she worried about him, and his working in the BAU enough, without sending her into an episode.

"I guess I can wait for my coffee," Spencer smiled softly, and stroked the hairs on the back of Hotch's neck.

"Oh good," he climbed off the bed;

"You'd best get ready for work then," Spencer stared at Hotch open-mouthed;

"That's it? That's all you have to say right now?" he said, his tone utterly shocked.

"What did you expect me to say?" Hotch licked his lip and smiled; he knew full well what Spencer was expecting.

"Well, isn't it obvious?" he got up and folded his arms.

"I don't know, is it?" Hotch continued, unsure how far he could go with this before Spencer started to get angry.

"Aaron! Don't play games with me," he whined and threw a pillow at him.

"I wasn't aware we were playing a game Spencer. What are we playing? Monopoly, Cluedo?" his smirk widened, little mischievous embers dancing in his eyes. Spencer threw another pillow at him;

"You're so mean," he walked out of the room, clearly sulking. Hotch followed, not ready to give up;

"Aw, c'mon, no kiss?" he said mock-sadly.

"No. No anything for you," he turned his nose up and went to the guest room to change. Hotch laughed;

"Aw, c'mon Spence, I'm just playing," he poked him.

"Yes, well you'll be playing on your own later," Spencer smiled stridently and buttoned up his waistcoat. Hotch gasped and then chuckled;

"Actually I won't be doing anything like that. Did you forget? I have Jack this evening. You said you were going to be here, and I was going to try to explain to him...well us." Hotch rubbed his forehead;

"God knows where I'm even gonna start with that one," he sat down on the guest bed.

"You'll find a way, or I will," Spencer sat down next to Hotch and leaned his head on his shoulder.

"We will?" he looked down at Spencer's face on his shoulder;

"Of course, if all else fails I will bombard him with statistics and hope I confuse him enough he forgets the whole conversation," he chuckled and Hotch smiled.

"Jack is a great kid, I'm sure he'll understand. Or throw his dinosaur at us." Hotch frowned and Spencer chuckled.

"It'll be fine, I promise," he smiled.

"I know, Jack loves you, he'll love having you around more. Oh but no more fire tricks in the house, I don't want another carpet toasted if it all goes wrong," Hotch glared at him only half seriously.

"Okay, okay no more fire tricks," Spencer rolled his eyes and stood up. He put his velour jacket on and smiled at Hotch.

"You ready to go?" Hotch stood up and grabbed his suit jacket from the hook and put it on. He straightened his tie and nodded;

"Are you sure you're ready to go back Spence? I can speak to Strauss if you need more time?" he said softly stroking Spencer's shoulder.

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be,"


	8. Crash

Spencer walked into the BAU, his hands a little shaky. He looked to Hotch every now and then for reassurance and he nodded back to him in acknowledgment. Prentiss, Morgan, Rossi and JJ were all gathered in the BAU desk warren, each one looking with sympathy at the younger Agent.;

"Hey, how're you doing?" Emily was the first to speak, she gave him a sympathetic stroke on his arm to show she cared.

"I'm...okay, it's fine. I uh, I'm just happy to be back at work, back to being busy, lots to do, UnSubs to catch," he could sense he was babbling but couldn't seem to stop; he was locked on.

"Spence, hey it's okay," JJ patted his hand. Morgan sat on his chair next to Reid's;

"Are you sure you're ready to come back, kid?" Morgan asked, his brow knitted into a frown.

"Yes, yes, I, just stop treating me like a victim, just, I'm not, it's fine it's all fine, just let me do my job," Spencer spoke a little too sharply;

"I'm sorry, I just want to have a coffee and start, I need the normality," he smiled softly and tried to avoid looking at the pity in their eyes.

"It's okay Spencer, you went through a traumatic thing, have you been seeing the department shrink?" Rossi asked, he leaned against Reid's desk. Spencer nodded and looked up at Rossi for a second;

"Yes, although I've yet to see a valid reason for that; it's all a little pointless to me. Talking about it doesn't take it away, I'm unsure how talking about it will help. It doesn't go away. It never does," he looked at his desk and went quiet. Hotch walked back over to the team and handed Reid a coffee, he put his hand on Spencer's back as he handed him the hot cup. He rubbed it gently a couple of times and then took it back;

"Board meeting in five guys," Hotch said softly, and one by one they went to the board room, leaving Spencer and Hotch alone;

"You sure you're gonna be okay?" he asked concern painting his face. Spencer nodded once more and smiled twitchily, sipping the coffee.

"I just wish they'd stop asking questions, I don't want to remember," he said quietly, and looked up, locking eyes with Hotch.

"They're just worried about you Spencer," Hotch spoke softly, sat upon the desk casually next to Spencer.

"I know. I get that, I do. It's just...I'm not a baby. I'm twenty seven, I can cope. I mean there are some issues, but I can't exactly talk about them can I? Not to them, not to you," he spoke melancholy in his speech. Hotch frowned and for a beat, a flash of hurt was visible, but he shook it off no sooner than it had appeared.

"Why not me? I'm your partner, Spencer, you can tell me anything," he placed a hand on Spencer's shoulder and tried to meet his gaze, ultimately failing.

"I've been feeling desperate lately. I've wanted to fall off the wagon many times. I haven't don't worry. I just...I need to forget, lose myself in the fog," He looked at the table, at some mark that wasn't there and swallowed thickly.

"Dilaudid?" Hotch asked, his voice coming out a little strangled. Spencer nodded, his cheeks burning a little in shame at his own weakness.

"Do you have it?" Hotch whispered. Spencer once again nodded and focused on that same spot, trying to stop the tears in his eyes from spilling over. Hotch leaned over Spencer and picked up the brown leather satchel he always carried. He opened it up and pulled out two phials of Dilaudid. He looked at the phials of clear poison and felt anger bubbling to the surface, but he curtailed it. The anger was not towards Spencer in the slightest; it was not his fault he had become an addict. He was forced against his will to consume this liquid death and he was angry, that this poor, sweet boy had been violated in such a way. He clenched his jaw and put the phials in his pocket. He spoke softly to Spencer;

"Did you take it?" Hotch was unsure he wanted to know the answer to this. He closed his eyes and waited;

"I...no. I didn't, but I wanted to," his words were like ghosts, almost lost in the wind and barely audible. Hotch sighed softly in relief.

"Good. Do you have more of this at home? Or in my house? Please be honest with me," Hotch implored him;

"There's a filled prescription in the box under the bed at your place...I'm so sorry," he whispered, a small tear chasing its way down his crimson cheek. Hotch rubbed his back soothingly;

"Don't be sorry, you didn't take it and you told me the truth, that's all that matters," Hotch smiled faintly. Spencer nodded and smiled, his eyes guarded;

"I'll meet you in the board room, I just need a minute, okay?" Spencer took a sip from his coffee and put it down on the desk. Hotch nodded and got up;

"Of course, take as much time as you need," he said and softly kissed his temple, before walking off to the board room. Spencer watched him leave and put his hand into his cardigan pocket. He pulled out a phial of Dilaudid and closed his hand around it. He got up and slowly made his way to the restroom, he carried his bag with him, his eyes darting about, scanning for people. He settled himself in a cubicle and looked at the liquid fix-all in his hand. _Shit, _he thought to himself, his hands trembling. He had lasted almost four years without this dark mistress, but this latest trauma threatened to send him straight back into the clutches of her dizzying smoke. He tried to take a few deep breaths, each one shakier than the last. He was trying to stabilize this familiar craving he had long since forgotten about, until now. _Just a little..._ He thought to himself; _Who am I kidding? It's never just a little..._

"Where's Reid?" Rossi frowned and looked out into the desk warren;

"He's not out there?" Hotch said, a little concerned. Rossi shook his head;

"I'll go and find him," he added and left the room.

Spencer sat with both feet up on the toilet seat huddled up as small as he could make himself to stop the shaking. He held the phial in his hand and and tried to look away, tearing his eyes from the key to his addiction. Rossi walked into the men's room and looked around;

"Spencer?" he spoke to the seemingly empty room. Spencer froze at the sound of Rossi's voice. Rossi knocked on the door, after pushing all the others, seeing they were empty.

"Spencer, are you okay?" Rossi asked, his voice calm and soft. Spencer meekly replied;

"I'm fine," he didn't move. Rossi put a hand on the door and spoke softly;

"Can you open the door for me?" he asked. Spencer thought for a second, before unlocking the door and sitting back down huddled on the toilet seat. Rossi came in and crouched beside him;

"What's going on Spencer?" he looked up at him and noticed his clenched hand.

"What have you got there?" he tried to open Spencer's hand but he kept it guardedly clenched. Spencer looked away from Rossi, too ashamed to admit to him what he had almost done.

"Spencer, I can't help you unless you talk to me," Rossi enthused, trying to get Spencer to open up to him.

"You'll be mad," Spencer's voice came out strangled and whispery, although he hadn't meant for it to be that way.

"I won't be mad. I promise. I want to help you, but you're going to have to start being a little honest here. What do you say?" his voice remained calm and soothing, his head level and controlled. Spencer slowly unfurled his fingers, revealing the phial he had kept secret; a true addict's mind set. Rossi looked at his hand and felt a little flutter in his stomach. He didn't let his shock and dismay reach his expression, he remained passive.

"Did you take it?" Rossi asked quietly. Spencer shook his head and continued to look at the floor.

"I didn't. I almost did," his voice barely caught the air. Rossi nodded and put his hand upon Spencer's shoulder. Spencer bit his lip and willed himself not to cry, not in front of Rossi.

"You didn't take it. Don't you see how strong you are?" he took the phial and put it in his pocket.

"Maybe you should go back to DAA?" I'll even come with you so you're not alone. Does Hotch know about this?" He asked sincerely.

"I...he does I gave him the two phials I had in my bag and told him about the prescription under the bed...but I kept this one phial away from him. I don't know why...god he's gonna be so angry with me, more because I lied. Shit..." he couldn't hold the tears that were threatening to fall any longer, he allowed himself to break down. Rossi stood up a little and wrapped his arms around Spencer;

"It's gonna be alright. I'm going to talk to Hotch; he'll understand this Spencer, it's going to be okay," he helped him stand and walked him out of the restroom, and steered him into Hotch's office. He went back into the boardroom and walked up to Hotch, discreetly whispering;

"Hotch we need to talk alone for a minute," Hotch frowned; that couldn't be a good sign. He and Rossi walked into the corridor and into a small meeting room to the left.

"What couldn't you tell me in there Dave?" Hotch got right to the point; he didn't have time for tip-toeing around the subject of Spencer Reid; he loved him too much to have those secrets discreetly wrapping themselves around them.

"I found him in the restroom, he'd locked himself in a cubicle and he was clutching this, scared out of his mind and shaking," he pulled the phial out and Hotch looked at it. His heart sank a little when he saw it. He sighed;

"I should have known. Why didn't he tell me?"

"He was scared you'd be angry with him," Rossi replied, he shrugged softly.

"I'm not angry with him. I never was, I'm angry at that guy, the reason he got in this mess to begin with. That's who I'm angry at. Spencer is doing so well in his recovery, but after what he went through a second time, I was always worried at the back of my mind that he might go back to that place," Hotch rubbed his temple, as if to try and erase this from his memory.

"Where is he now?" he asked.

"In your office. I told him I'd talk to you first, I needed to tell you about that," he pointed to the phial and sighed softly. Hotch nodded;

"Thank you Dave, sincerely," he said, softly.

"I told him I'd even go to DAA with him if he wanted me to," Rossi replied, and Hotch smiled faintly, touched by this gesture;

"That's very kind of you, I'll try to make sure he takes you up on that," Hotch replied, and put the Dilaudid phial in his pocket. He walked out of the room and into the restroom. He needed a minute to process the information he had been given. He turned the faucet on and splashed his face a few times with cold water. He dried his hands and face and looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes had dark circles beneath them, from the many nights he'd stayed awake just watching Spencer, calming him when he woke up screaming. He wished he knew how to save him from all this. He took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. He opened the door and climbed the stairs to his office, he paused before walking in. Spencer looked up like a deer in headlights, his eyes wide from panic.

"Hey, hey it's alright, Spencer I'm not mad. Come here, come here," Hotch closed the distance between them and took him into his arms, holding him as tightly as was comfortable. Spencer broke down in Hotch's arms, the reality of everything crashing down around him. Hotch rubbed his back soothingly and uttered words of reassurance, which were tokens of relief to Spencer. He mumbled apologies through his tears;

"I'm so sorry," he choked;

"I'm sorry I got weak, I didn't take it I promise, I didn't, I'm sorry," he said, his voice full of anguish and regret.

"You don't have to be sorry, that's why I'm here; to be strong for you. I won't let anything hurt you again, I promise," Hotch spoke softly into his ear. He stroked the hair from his face and kissed him lovingly;

"It's gonna be alright," Hotch whispered, and prayed to himself that he was right.


	9. Camaraderie

Hotch opened the door to his apartment and watched as the figure of Spencer ghosted past him. He could see the guilt in his eyes even as he tried to shield it. He ran a gentle hand up and down his bicep softly;

"Do you want something to drink?" he attempted to entice him into talking. Spencer nodded;

"Brandy would be good," he twitched a smile and flopped onto the couch. He rubbed his face and sighed softly. Hotch nodded and took the decanter from his home bar, and pured a small brandy for each of them.

"Only one though, I'm having Jack tonight, remember?" he smiled, looking forward to seeing his son, and having him spend some quality time with Spencer. _That might really help him _he thought to himself, as he sat down next to him, handing him his drink. Spencer frowned for a second, but smiled upon recollection of their conversation earlier that day;

"Oh yeah, I sorta forgot with...everything," he looked at the floor and swirled his drink around his glass. Hotch put his arm around Spencer and ruffled his hair;

"Let's not think about that agin hmm?" he placed a soft kiss on his temple and smiled;

"We're gonna have our hands full, Jessica always hops him up on candy before she drops him off to me," he rolled his eyes;

"She's still fighting in Haley's corner against me I think," he sighed and sipped his drink.

"You won't have time to worry, Jack will be climbing all over you and begging you to play Dragons with him," he chuckled and Spencer grinned.

"I do like Dragons," he smirked and downed his drink.

"You figured out how we're gonna tell him yet?" he eyed Hotch and raised his eyebrow. Hotch shook his head;

"I don't want to lie to him, but I don't want to tell him too much either," he looked up from his drink, hoping Spencer had a more feasible explanation.

"So I guess that puts the 'Daddy's special friend' option out the window, huh?" he looked at Hotch defeatedly. Hotch shrugged and downed his drink;

"Pretty much, I guess I could explain to him that we love each other like me and Mommy did, I just don't know if will understand that two men and two women sometimes fall in love," Hotch sighed again and stood up to remove his jacket, he slung it over the couch and wandered to the kitchen;

"Do you want a snack? I'm hungry. I kinda want sushi-" he was interrupted by a knock at the door. _It's only four _he thought as he went to open it; _She said she'd bring him by at five _he frowned and opened the door. He didn't know why he was even surprised that Jessica had shown up early with Jack; she always did.

"Hey Jessica," Hotch did not smile at Jessica, he only picked up his son and directed his smile towards him;

"Hey buddy! How's my boy?" he smiled and spun him around, making Jack giggle;

"Daddy! Stop!" he giggled and tugged his shirt until he put him down again.

"I'll pick him up on Sunday," Jessica smiled a little and handed over a bag, with some things she had packed for him. He attempted to smile back, but knew even if he did smile he couldn't convince her he wasn't the bad guy Haley always made him out to be when she had ranted about him. He had loved Haley, and she, him, but those differences became fault lines, which eventually gave way to earthquakes, decimating their marriage. She walked away down the drive way and climbed into her hybrid car, and drove away. Jack charged into the living room and pounced on the couch, he grinned seeing Spencer sat a few feet away;

"Unca Spencer!" he squeaked and clambered his way across the sofa cushions to get to his favourite Uncle. Spencer grinned widely and opened his arms to grab him up and pull him onto his knee;

"Hey Jack, did you remember what I told you last week?" he looked down at the small boy.

"About dinosaurs?" he looked up scratching his head, trying to remember.

"Yep about dinosaurs," Spencer replied and smirked.

"They were made extinct 65 trillion years ago!" he replied animatedly and Spencer chuckled.

"Close, 65 million years ago. What type is your favourite Jack?" Spencer asked and picked him up. Jack frowned deeply and thought about this for a second and tapped his chin in his deep concentration. Hotch watched them and leaned on the support beam of his open plan living room; _Spencer would be a great father _he thought with a smile, and walked over to the pair.

"A Tyrannosaurus Rex!" Jack shouted and Spencer smirked;

"Ohhh? Well you know what they do don't you? OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!" he tickled and pretended to eat Jack as he giggled uproariously and Hotch chuckled;

"Sorry Jack, I should have warned you that Spencer was a big, scary dinosaur," he laughed and Spencer put Jack the right way up and back down onto the couch. Jack grinned;

"That's so cool, I can't wait to tell my friends, they don't have a dinosaur Uncle!" he clapped and ran off to the kitchen.

"Daddy! I'm staaaaarving! Can I have a snack before dinner? Pleaaaase?" he looked innocently at Hotch, who smiled and walked into the kitchen.

"Sure you can buddy, you want some apple slices and juice?" he asked, grabbing and apple from the bowl. Jack nodded and jumped up onto a stool at the breakfast bar. Hotch began to chop up the apple on the chopping board, Spencer jogged into the kitchen and grabbed a plate. He placed it next to Hotch and smiled before pulling a juice box from the fridge. He pulled the plastic wrapping from the straw and poked it through the hole;

"Here ya go Jack," he smiled and placed it on the marble counter in front of him. He discreetly stroked Hotch's arm as he walked past him, on his way to the refrigerator to locate something for dinner. Hotch allowed a tiny smile to play on his lips as he placed the sliced apple upon the plate.

"Spencer, throw me the cheese," he grinned and held his hands out in preparation;

"Go long," he chuckled and threw it straight into his waiting hands. Hotch pulled the wrapping back and cut a few slices before rewrapping it and throwing it back to Spencer, who failed to catch it.

"Damn it," he whined, almost stamping his foot as before.

"You know I can't catch," he added and picked it up, placing it on the top shelf of the fridge.

"I know, you catch like a nine year old girl," Hotch smirked as Spencer flicked him with a tea towel.

"Perhaps it's because you throw like one?" he quipped back and grinned wider;

"And kick like one, remember?" he winked and stretched his arms behind his head.

"We'll see who kicks like a girl, let's get the football," Hotch's eyes glittered with mirth. Spencer rolled his eyes and shook his head;

"I don't do well with sports. Awkwardness, long skinny legs, weigh about the same as an iPod, any of this look familiar?" Hotch raised his eyebrow at the sass Spencer was dishing out to him.

"I think that may be a little bit of an exaggeration don't you think?" he smirked and placed the cheese and apples in front of Jack. He picked up a pice of apple and proceeded to pretend it was an plane before eating it. Spencer and Hotch shared a loving glance, their hands gently clasping together behind the back of Hotch's innocent son.

Hotch banished Spencer and Jack from the kitchen, and sent them outside to play catch. He prepared the lasagna, his thoughts flitting around his mind like tiny hummingbirds, trying to stay in flight. He was searching in every crevice of his mind for the right words to tell his son that the man he called Uncle, could possibly be his future step-dad. He put the carefully prepared dish into the oven, and left it to cook. He strolled out to the garden to join Spencer and Jack, who were playing catch. Morgan had bought Jack a catcher's mitt last year and he had loved it. Spencer threw the ball lightly, making sure it was perfectly in line for Jack to catch it every time. Hotch smiled and allowed himself to almost dream of a future. In that moment, he had an epiphany; that one day he and Spencer would have a family of their own. Spencer looked over to where Hotch was leaning on the doorframe, looking but not really seeing anything.

"Hey Jack, why don't you see how many times you can catch the ball without dropping it? I just need to go talk to your dad," Spencer ruffled the young boy's hair before jogging over to Hotch;

"Why so serious? I mean I know you're always serious; that's why we call you Agent No-Smile," Spencer smirked, Hotch looked up and raised an eyebrow;

"Agent No-Smile?" he looked unimpressed but amused at the same time. Spencer cleared his throat;

"Who came up with that one?" Hotch asked, his tone dancing with latent glee.

"Uh, Morgan," Spencer said softly, knowing Derek would be pissed about Spencer's being a tattletale.

"Looks like someone's getting some overtime," Hotch rubbed his hands together in glee and laughed.

"Hey don't do that! He'll know it was me!" Spencer whined as Hotch reached an arm around his younger lover.

"I still don't know what to say to Jack, but I think I just want to do this now," Hotch gulped softly and looked into Spencer's eyes;

"I don't want to hide from anyone anymore. I know the team knows...but no one else does." he looked over at his son, who was blissfully happy with the simple pleasure of throwing and catching a ball. Spencer nodded;

"Let's do it," he squeezed Hotch's shoulder softly and they made their way over to Jack.

"Hey buddy, come here a sec, me and Uncle Spencer want to talk to you," he smiled and sat on the grass, beckoning his young boy to sit on his knee. He ambled over and sat down, pulling at the strings on his catcher's mitt;

"Am I in trouble Daddy?" he looked up, his brown eyes innocent and soft.

"No! No of course you're not in trouble. I just need to tell you a few things about being a grown-up," Hotch looked at Spencer, who nodded slightly in silent acknowledgment.

"But I'm only five Daddy," Jack said, his little voice laced with a little confusion.

"I know, but this is important, I promise." Hotch paused in his speech for a second, trying to collect his thoughts, which were like leaves drifting through a summer breeze.

"Daddy, has a very special relationship with Uncle Spencer, Jack." he paused again, unsure of the right words. Jack nodded;

"I know, he's my Unca," he smiled. Hotch nodded and continued;

"Do you like having Uncle Spencer around here?" he asked leadingly.

"Yes, I love him, I wish I could have two Daddies like Ben does, I'd want Unca Spencer to be my Daddy too," Hotch grinned hugely and Spencer's jaw dropped, his heart pulled by this little boy's innocent words.

"Really? You want Spencer to be your Daddy too?" he asked. Jack nodded.

"Well, that's really great news buddy, because I love Uncle Spencer. I love him just like I love Mommy," he stopped, as he thought about his late wife. Spencer stroked his hand lovingly and bit his lip.

"Now, no one is ever gonna replace Mommy, and Daddy doesn't love Mommy any less." he continued, feeling emotion choking him, threatening to sever the pathway of his unsaid words. Jack looked curiously at Spencer for a moment, then back to Hotch;

"Is Spencer your boyfriend Daddy?" he asked, seemingly unfazed;

"Yes, he is Jack. How do you feel about that?" he asked softly. He thought about it for a moment;

"But I thought that boys were supposed to be with girls," he replied, a little confused.

"Well, that's true, but sometimes boys love other boys, and girls love other girls." Hotch replied, smiling softly.

"Is that okay?" Jack asked, innocence pervasive in the air;

"Of course it's okay Jack. Anyone who thinks it's not okay, just doesn't understand it properly. What have I always taught you?" Hotch asked, hoping he remembered;

"To love everyone and treat them as I want to be treated and if I want them to love me I have to show them respect," he recited the very words of wisdom Hotch had sought to impart in his only child. Spencer smiled and chuckled softly as he shook his head. _That's my baby _he thought to himself and he rested his hand upon Hotch's.

"That's right. If people are mean to you, you should always treat them really nicely., because that makes them madder. Then they give up being mean because they see that you are strong and smart," Hotch spoke boldly. He knew this was not always true, but he wanted to keep his son innocent.

"Can you and Unca, well I think now Daddy Spencer, make me a brother or sister?" Jack asked, unaware that it was physically impossible for this to happen. Spencer burst into a fit of giggles and Hotch playfully swatted at him.

"That's not really how it works with boys Jack," he chuckled softly. Jack frowned and looked at his father;

"Oh. Okay Daddy. How does it work?" he looked up expectantly and Hotch smiled at him, and then Spencer before he spoke;

"I'll tell you when you're older son,"


End file.
